Postpartum life has presented many challenges. Navigating through motherhood is unique for everyone. The online community seems to take great pride of mom tribes and support on message boards but then on Instagram I see so much mom shaming.
Surprisingly a lot of it focuses on women dressing "inappropriately" and slut shaming.
Personally I was not a wallflower with what I wore before I had my son and to suddenly change how I dress seems disingenuous. I loved tights jeans and crop tops before. I never shied away from a slightly sheer garment. I have always loved dressing up in lingerie and pretty lace bras and underwear.
One of my least favorite parts (that no one told me about either) of healing after I had my son was having to wear those crazy huge adult diapers. It's common to bleed for weeks after childbirth. I'm not talking heavy menstruation either. Much heavier than that. You can't use tampons and as much as you think pads will be easier it's those giant adult diapers that are your best friend. My uniform for the first three weeks was leggings, adult diapers, nursing bra stuffed with nursing pads and my husbands old t-shirts. As someone who finds confidence in their wardrobe and being able to dress in various looks this was a blow to myself esteem. Eventually I graduated from adult diapers to pads with full coverage underwear but that was for another month since I also had two stitches that needed to heal and some layers of skin taken off (think of a rug burn on your labia, yay!) So when I was finally all healed and feeling back to normal down there I switched back to my thong underwear and DAMN DID IT FEEL GOOD.
I felt like myself again. I felt confident to wear my bodysuits and tight jeans. I felt sexy. I finally started dressing more like pre-baby me. Did I have to make some adjustments? Sure! Some items from my closet are just not functional while going through my day while I take care of my baby. I bend over too much to pick him up and set him down so I don't buy short dresses for everyday wear now. I can't balance well while holding him so I ditched a ton of my high heels. When I went to Mexico last month I bought new swimwear since I didn't want to risk him pulling the ties of a bikini and giving everyone a show. Also my body changed and I have some insecurities in certain areas.
I definitely was nervous taking these photos and it was a risk for me. I'm still trying to come back in tune with my sexual side and finding myself a sexual being again. When I spend most of my days covered in baby spit and drool, changing poopy diapers, skipping showers and rocking greasy mom hair it's a challenge to look in the mirror and think "Yup, I'm hella sexy and feel super hot and fierce right now." So I wanted to take some photos in some pretty lingerie (the first lingerie I have worn since baby was born!) to remind myself I am a sexy woman and can still rock lingerie post baby.
If you see any mom blogger or influencer post a photo of themselves with their hair brushed, some lipstick on and in an outfit other than leggings then trust me that they were feeling sexy/pretty/beautiful/fierce that day. It was one of (probably) the few days they got to spend some time on themselves. It doesn't matter if a mom feels her best in a good pair of jeans, a sparkly dress or lingerie. They are wearing what makes them feel good and it's important we either comment out of support or keep our opinions to ourselves if we do not agree, for whatever reasons. Just like I don't have a high opinion of bermuda shorts and find them personally offensive it doesn't warrant a personal attack on a person's social media post and calling them names. Stop calling women sluts for how they dress. Stop telling mothers they dress "inappropriately". If you personally would not dress that way that's fine. It doesn't make it inappropriate except to your own personal opinion. Let's stop making women feel they need to change who they are and how they express themselves as soon as they become a mother. We are still our own sexy-fierce-beautiful individual, even with a small person in one arm.